50 Not Out..

This is post number 50 on vaaman… and it’s a milestone that gives me a decent level of satisfaction, and I hope I have given you a little bit of variety and an element of unpredictability as to what my new post would cover.

I sincerely thank you for taking time off to visit my blog irrespective of how regularly you do this, and I only hope that I can entertain you enough to bring you back on to this page, and manage to leave a frown in your face, when you don’t find an update.

The blogging platform has helped me lots in knowing new people and making new friends. Blogging has opened my eyes to views others hold on topics, that I think deserve atleast 500 words of web space. It has also made me read the posts of fellow bloggers, and it certainly helps to know what fellow common man thinks and not just what the Netas say that they are thinking.

Its been a pleasure presenting my thoughts to you, and I shall do all that I can, to keep this going, and keep raising the bar as we progress in this journey

Well begun is half done, but unless it is fully done, the result is better than none (This part of unwarranted filasafee is brought to you by Arun :) )

Cheers!

Birthdays and the Elusive extra toffee

Today I had this pleasant and unique experience of chatting simultaneously with two of my ‘jigree’ dosths who wore their birthday dresses to school on the same day ,14 years ago!

On that note here is yet another attempt to transport you through this small journey into early school life… “Nyaabagam Varudhe Part III”

My birthday falls in end of April, and so, I never had the opportunity to go to school wearing the newly bought dress on my birthdays. But that doesn’t stop one’s excitement when it is any of the class mate’s birthdays.

The pride that the b’day baby’s face exuded, the suspense factor of what toffee was in store, and which class the sweets would be distributed were just some of the highlights.

If two classmates celebrate their birthday on the same day, even better. One toffee is finished pre lunch and the other in the second half. And that is the day when the kid wins new friends, as the classmates are hopeful of getting that extra caramel chocolate in the second interval from out of the reserves stored in the side pocket of the school bag!

And the birthday kids are no less shaane.. They use this as an opportunity and go that extra mile and offer one extra chocolate to please their favourite teacher.. “ Please take one more, Miss” .. If only the teachers were kind enough to acknowledge this and knock off a few blackmarks off the kids’ names…

Waiting for another spark to be aroused to embark on “Nyaabagam Varudhe Part IV”.. This is, after all the season of sequels in Bollywood too..

It's Tamil this time!

Why spare my mother tongue.. after torturing all my readers with poems in English, I thought I will pen one in Tamil.. So here it goes!

Mounam Saadhikum Idhazhgale
Kolam Podum Kolusu Kaalgale
Idhu Kaadhala Verum kaanala
Unarchiku Vizhigal Or Kaavala

Vandhaai Paarthaai Venraaiye
Caesar Kulathu Pen neeyo
Inum Kidaikavilai En Idhayam
Thirudiyadhu azhagiya theeyo

Malargalin Vaasam Nee Dhaano
Naan Utkollum Swaasam Nee Dhaano
Mounathin Vilakkam Ariyeno
Un Idhayathil Vasipadhu Adiyeno

Idhu eppadi irukku ;)

Coffee with Karan

As I was completing my routine jog around the MCG today morning, I spotted a curious tourist, who looked very familiar. He was just stretching his hands out and looking towards the sky and trying to picture someone in front of the majestic stadium. It was at that time, my mental google popped up with one search result…. The one and only Karan Johar

Knowing fairly well that he cant say no to coffee, I asked him if we could have guppa over a cup of coffee, and he obliged as expected.

So what transpired in the ten minute tete-a-tete was a free exchange of concerns and ideas..here are the excerpts

Me: So Karan, what brings you to Down Under.. leaving your adopted metropolis, NewYork

Karan: Shahrukh complained to me that he was bored of enacting his trademark ‘spread the arms-look up to the sky- release that fatally explosive constipated smile’ act in London and New York.. so here I am scouting for a new location, and have almost finalized on MCG for the next project

Me (*thrilled): So, you have got the concept ready for your next project?
Karan:You must be kidding. Story, Screenplay and Dialogues will follow later. All my projects begin with addressing Shah Rukh ‘s whims and fancies

Me: Just between the two of us. Can you please tell me how you ensured every Indian watched KANK in the first week

Karan:That’s a simple trick. If they praise the product, I ask them to spread the word, and if they come up to me taking an unfavourable stand even without watching the movie , I give them a cold stare and tell them not to go by some word of mouth, and find out for themselves J. Either way, they land up watching the movie.

Me: What is the idea behind making movies that span for more than three hours. I presume you have a misconception about an eternal classic. Just to clarify, it is certainly not a movie that goes on till eternity.

Karan: See, this is where my second source of revenue comes into the picture. I don’t care if the movie goer cries all through the movie, but what is important is that the snacks counter folks should laugh their way to the Bank, so I make it as long as possible so that the sale of popcorn and cool drinks increase manifold, and I take a cut from that too!

Me: What about your third source of revenue which is from the sale of DVDs?
Karan: Good that you brought about this point. To be honest, I am not expecting great returns from DVD sales, and instead I have struck gold with KANK, by contracting with the para military forces. The deal is that, whenever they run out of tear gas during any riot control operations, they would screen KANK on the streets, to bring about the same effect. Is there a better way to make people weep for more than three hours?

He then excused himself as he had to catch the next flight to Sydney, to check if the Opera House was a viable option as well. By then I was awestruck by the innovative commercial acumen of Johar Junior, and felt reassured that Bollywood was in very safe hands indeed.

Total Disclaimer: The entire episode is purely a figment of my imagination (right from the morning jog till the feeling of reassurance)

Impossible says I'm possible

It is just the power to see
That’s been snatched away
No one can clinch from us
The right to have a vision

We may not be provided
With The gift of the gab
But with sheer determination
Are sure to make a statement

So what if fate has been cruel
Not allowing us to walk at will
We still can achieve so much
The world will march behind us

You need to be a bit louder
We cant pick up mild noises
It is just the failure to hear
But to succeed, we are here.

Mere sympathies fail to work
In miracles we seldom trust
A level playing field we need
To prove, we can be the best

Inspired by true story of Siddharth (http://in.rediff.com/money/2006/aug/23sid.htm) and countless other unpublished success stories...

Laloo IIM Prasad and the Mahim Madness

Story 1: Laloo is going to be invited to IIM Ahmedabad to deliver guest lectures on management strategies!! Bewildered? This is no political gimmick but based on sheer weight of performance involved in turning around the loss making Indian Railways to a corporation that has cash reserve of Rs 1100 crores, in a two year span. Our Hon'ble Railway Minister has managed to turn the tables around, has happened with minimum impact on the
everyday passenger, and deftly increasing freight rates to ensure profitability. There is certainly more method than madness in this wily politician now.

Story 2: August 2005 – The entire city of Mumbai lashed back at the Mumbai administration for not having been able to effectively carry out disaster management after the furious floods played havoc on the city’s landscape. They were looking for a more responsible Govt to warn them of such impending catastrophes in advance so that lives can be saved

Fast forward into August 2006 – Mahim creek water turns sweet.. I must admit that if there is one stretch in Mumbai rail network that can wake you up even if you manage to doze off in the crowded compartments, it is the stench from the creek between Mahim and Bandra. As the news of the ‘miracle’ spread amongst the Mumbaikars, they wanted to have first hand information on this, and so they start to taste the sea water. This frenzy continues despite being warned adequately by the district officials that it is very much likely that water borne bacterial diseases could emanate from the Mahim waters. Not sure what exactly the people want the administration to do if they are not inclined to listen to such simple instructions.
Maybe this would even prompt Pepsi to abandon the “Pepsi is safer than Tea” campaign and take up “Pepsi is safer than Mahim water” campaign soon.

Kalyug is in full swing with politicians attempting to turn a new leaf, and the public blisfully prefers to tread the path of 'informed ignorance'.

Maverick School of Intuitive Entrepreneurship

Only God knows what prompted this title, but when I was discussing with my colleague at work, as to how it feels more rewarding when you know that you have created a pie of value, then just get a share of the pie by virtue of being in a vantage position, I just got this term out of the blue and this has sort of stuck with me thro the evening.

I have not read any biography or autobiography of any great entrepreneur, but for Maverick, which talks about the revolutionary path adopted by Semco, after it was taken over by its second generation leader Ricardo Semler.

Here is a brief note on how I classify entrepreneurs. I have not analysed their history or growth path, but these are just my views at a superficial level.

The by the book, value system entrepreneur – He who believes that investing in a value system is as important as strategizing a business model. NR Narayana Moorthy is the brand ambassador for this enviable breed. One of the most revered industrialists in India, his institution stands testimony to the fact that, when you do what you think is right and most importantly what most others think is right, and the time will come, where you will surely shine.

The second generation entrepreneur – Azim Premji is an amazing example of how as a second generation entrepreneur, you can take the organization that you have inherited to the next level, and not squander your father’s wealth to restrict the money to his generation. I don’t think it is very easy to run a business when a thousand people view you as the leader born out of autocracy than out of democracy. To take no cognizance of that, and proving your mettle time and again is no mean joke.

Vijay Mallya also breaks into this league, and he is a second generation leader whose flamboyant lifestyle is viewed as a sign of vanity, and with greater degree of attention, whereas one cannot take away the credit he deserves for revamping and rebranding the UB group, and the way he has ventured into the airline sector.

The aggressive.. Annihilate the competitor mould – None other than Dhirubhai Hirachand Ambani can epiomise this variety. With humble beginnings as a worker in a petrol pump in the Gulf, his vision and the confidence that he can make a difference to the way business is run in India, is unparalleled. The way he went about building an empire with steadfast commitment, his trust on the famed Inner circle and the ability to topple competition with both grit and tact, right from the time he played with the happiness of a bear cartel running against him when he was a nascent entrepreneur, till his vision of 10 paise mobile phone are just pages out of the epic called Dhirubhai, the real Ambani.

Maverick Entrepreneur – This clan is my favourite. The eccentric attitude often acts as an opaque mask behind which is this absolutely astute master of business. The potential to hog the limelight is a given for them. The one person who standsout in this category is Richard Branson. The way he posed as a girl at the launch of Virgin, was a path breaking effort J. His simple idea of welcoming all the passengers aboard his fleet by imprinting a message with his autograph is not something that goes unnoticed if you are a leisure traveler. If there is one autobiography I would love to fetch from the racks, it would be “Losing my virginity” by Branson.

Just in case you get an impression that this post was boring, please do let me know, and I will switch back to my more cozy style of writing… stepping out of comfort zones, occasionally is not that harmful though. J

Ode from an alumnus

This is a little poem written in nostalgic thoughts on the glorious school days. This year incidentally. my school P.S.Senior Secondary School is completing 30 years..So read on.. this is "Nyaabagam Varudhe Part 2" :)

The Fun, The playground,
The teachers, the blackboard
The aayahs, the big shed
We miss these and more

Truly committed to the service,
Teachers we were blessed with
Shaping us to what we are today
We owe them infinite gratitude

Merrily Sharing our lunch boxes,
Praying for that extra holiday,
As complete strangers, we met
As friends we remain till date

Be it the acads, be it the games
The Penchant for classical music
The value system that is unique
P.S at thirty, is thirsty for more

Gaptain's Diksanary

Year 2010. The Red carpet is all set to welcome the new international superstar… yes you are right….Gaptain it is.. and what shot him to international stardom… It is the climax scene of the movie.. “Gaptain raaks”

Gaptain is trying to rescue his father Tom Cruise (Cruise apparently decided that he was too old to be an MI agent.. little did he know that Gaptain was 10 years elder to him), and his beloved mother Rekha (Rekha finally thought that acting as Gaptain’s mother was not as damaging as Hrithik’s grandmother), from a terrorist… yes you guessed it right yet again.. it is my favourite Baakisthaan Theevaravaadhi

Gaptain as usual is the police inspector and to him saving his mother and motherland are one and the same.. so why bother protecting motherland ;)

When the world expects an action packed finale , it is the Gaptain’s dialaak delivery that packs the punch… so here it goes…

“Hey….You know who I am.. I won the Gold Medal in Sooting Kaampatisan in the Sydney Olimbiks….And now I am a police Aafisar… You know why? To jhoom in on khiriminals like you and soot you all” The terrorist can't take it any more and faints promptly..

Flabbergasted with what had happened, the Police Commissioner
Asks Gaptain to explain the phenomenon.. and Gaptain starts one more set of punch lines…. “ Kamisinar saar…Be it protecting the daalars at Suvis Bang, ensuwaring peaceful elaxans, or protecting the werld from Baakisthan terrorists.. If Vijay Kant no one can”….The commissioner puts in his best effort to hide his unbearable laughter and congratulates the ultimate Messiah of the masses..

Take a Bow Gaptain Take a Bow!

Tho Thweeeth

After seeing my cute 6 month old nephew in Singapore and two days after I made my newborn niece’s photo as the desktop wallpaper… here are my quick thoughts on that glorious phase of one's life

Wish I remained a newborn forever. Just imagine, my only job is just to do nothing.. people around me keep trying their best to see me happy.. just wait for those naughty smiles to emanate from my otherwise innocent face… each one of my moves is interpreted into multiple expressions left best to their respective imaginations… I have no language to learn… just cry for everything.. and my wishes are answered….i yawn.. I am cute…is there any other time in life .. when people find u cute when u r just plain sleeping….new dresses galore….just to ensure that the digital camera batteries run out of charge every two days…. Wish I remained a newborn forever

Infinite Droplets Infinite Emotions

Laughter is unique
Available only to mankind
Speaks only one language
The language of happiness

As the little angel gets hungry
Craving for food by shedding a few
All too tired to be awake anymore
It alerts the mother by crying again


Parting from your beloved
Reuniting after a decade
Expressing sheer gratitude
Moist eyes say it all

Seeing the flag flying high
From the winners podium
Favourite Club winning a thriller
It all brings down a tear or two


Born along with you
The very first expression
And lasts till the very end
Tears carry infinite emotions

From Tasmac to Television – A new form of venture capitalism

Hurray!! Every Tax payer in Tamil Nadu is now a Venture Capitalist! The socio political fabric in Tamil Nadu could well and truly emerge as a bench mark for other State Governments to follow.

A couple of years back, Amma hit this brainwave that she could use the public exchequer to invest in a distillary/distribution system which is by and large her very own, and then supply it back to the poor and famished at whopping margins, and claim to have done moral policing on liquor consumption.

Now the new kid on the block, the Junior Maran, is more than happy to reinvest /re channelise the 6000 crores into the Colour TV scheme, and earn through the extra revenues that is generated through Sun TV. This is perhaps the best business model that an entrepreneur could dream of. Get money from public, sell it to the public, and make merry in the bargain.

Just when I thought I could suggest one more way of getting more capital into these roaring businesses by not having elections at all in Tamil Nadu, since we prefer localities, bus route suffixes and institutions to be changed every five years, the emergence of, dare I say, a third front in Tamil Nadu, in the form of DMDK, does set the tone for more options for the voter in the coming elections.

What I am looking forward to in Chennai landscape in another two months is the removal of all these non glamorous olive green “TASMAC” boards and Bullet Beer hoardings, and being replaced by “Malar Wines”,”Deepa Wines” and having some creative portraits of Aishwarya, Sneha and the likes on them. Aiya Jolly!


And as much as we keep ridiculing Captain for his antics on screen, and confusing that with his capabilities in real life, I guess the middle class in Tamil Nadu has also realized that it is no mean task to contest in all constituencies within one year of forming the party as would be deeply appreciated by Fledgling parties like Lok Paritran.

Though the Rising Sun is back in Power, I think the real dawn for Tamil Nadu is just round the corner!

Ek Gaao Mein....

This blog talks about the most shocking moment of my stay so far, the moment and the after thoughts… A scene that suddenly brought back memories of Mahabalipuram Bus Stand, where the beggars have mastered the art of begging in English when they see foreign tourists… “ Madam Poor Fisherman.. Please give money Madam” was one of the most enterprising lines that I have heard from a beggar.

Now, where the world is all about survival of the fittest, here is an illiterate in Chennai who is willing to learn the few words in an alien language to keep his hunger at bay.

“Chennai tho Tamil Nadu. Mein… Lekin Tamil Nadu mein Log Hindi Jaante Bhi Nahin aur Chaahte bhi Naheen” . I felt like Balu Thevar of Vedam Pudithu being slapped on the face a dozen times

I would not have bothered if this was one of those “nakkal” remarks by some one from across the Vindyas…

But to hear this from some passerby, a sixty year old Aussie, who I think would have been in India just long enough to know basic Hindi, was something that caught me off-guard

I have not covered the length and breadth of Tamil Nadu to subscribe to his views or differ on this count, but if this is something that a Tamilian be told in Hindi by an Aussie Down Under, then there must be some truth in it.

It is no doubt that Chennai is becoming visibly cosmopolitan these days, and now people are gearing up to learn Hindi to survive. Not sure about my eternal buddies the Auto rickshaw drivers, but I think vegetable vendors, delivery boys in grocery stores are now coming to terms with this change.

If it has come down to a point where it is better for Tamils to learn Hindi in Chennai to win the emerging market, not sure what the fuss was all about 30 odd years back, where it was politicised, and a few years back, where it was more diplomatically answered as “Ennaku Hindi theriyume …Ek gaaon mein ek kisaan raghu thaatha”..

Before you think that I am scoring a same side goal or that I am writing this to patoufy some kudi, let me sign off by saying that knowing Hindi has been extremely helpful, as it has allowed me to choose DVDs from four racks instead of just two from the local Indian store.

Documentary… oh really?

Documentary – A 10 minute reel that is mandatory for cinema owners to screen before each show

Oscar Winner – A movie that is best appreciated by a dozen jurists leaving the rest of mortality in a puzzled state

Now try combining these two – Sounds like Balu Mahendra’s Schindler’s List?

With these running at the back of mind, and braving a late teen temperature, I marched ahead with my parents to the Village Cinemas at the Crown Casino Complex here. My only positive thought was that it was just going to be one hour, so even if it is going to be boring, it was not going to be enduring. What’s more we were late by about a couple of minutes, and I didn’t regret it, for, it was just a documentary.

THE MARCH OF THE PENGUINS proved all my inhibitions wrong. It is perhaps the most engrossing documentary that you would ever come across. With no humans involved in front of the camera, and no sixth sense corrupting the first five, or less, it is a feast for the eyes.

It is one of the best exhibitions of how invaluable life is. To what extent the parents go to protect the offspring, against the winds, the storms and predators were captured in the most pristine way. And the parents remain partner only for oneyear, but their commitment to the new life that they have been responsible for, is unparalleled.

The simple laws of United we stand , divided we fall, team spirit, and Dare not love thy neighbour ;), were so well shot, that it didn’t even actually need any narration…

For a documentary, it was just too entertaining.. may be NGC and Discovery would have covered hoards on this subject, I am sure there is something that separates this from the rest ..why else would I be sitting in the most crowded hall in the multiplex.. yes there were about 70 people.. and that is quite a sight given that it was a Saturday evening …
And why else would I resume blogging with this topic after 2 months?

If the Penguins March thro your town, please don’t miss this.. be rest assured that you will not return disappointed.. I am deliberately not getting into a detailed review, for I will become super senti and philosophical and also would give away some of the cute little twists in the film…Happy viewing..

Why Sanjanaa goes to sleep soon after sunset

Sanju is just a kid. So she can afford to sleep longer..
Sanju wakes up at six. Therefore she sleeps early.
Sanju does not watch TV in the evening. Therefore she sleeps early.



The truth was something different and it dawned on me just this week.
Tennis on Tuesday evening, tennis on Wednesday evening and cricket today evening..
11:15 on Tuesday , 10:15 on Wednesday, and just managing to stay awake now….
I am feeling tired at sunset too..Sanju has been active all day everyday…while I have been warming the seat all day everyday… she has been playing all day, and I have preferred to have my eyes glues on the computer screen during the day and the TV screen after that..

This week has been like the one of those PT classes that were few and far between.. and in true McDonalds style “I’m loving it”

Come next week, and I will be reminded of those glorious childhood days…
“…. Porum veyilla thalai la vaangindadhu.. naaliku vera seekaram ezhundhukanum..”

Yeppppp…. As I am eagerly awaiting my parents’ arrival here, I already see what is in store.. atleast.. there is no homework to spoil my evenings I guess, but I am sure there would be moments of dejavu….

A few good...

Every time you feel alone,
The world feels like hell
There are a few good friends
Who listen to all you tell

It all looks far too serious,
Eveready to pour the cribs
There are a few funny moments
That constantly tickles our ribs

Whenever life seems unfair
Respite wanted is what you feel
There are those few good hearts
Selflessness is all it takes to heel

The cities look too cluttered
Moving at an incredible pace
There are a few good places
Where you can live your space

When all seems lost,
There are still ways
To enjoy what’s given
With those few good……

Making of Mooooosa Ali

Stautory Warning: Completely in Tanglish and for those who follow Kollywood

It is one of the quintessential roles in a Captain Action Flick- The Baakisdan Deevaravadhi (hereinafter referred to as BD)

Now, Paramasivan, the latest Ajit starrer had one BD to boast of as well, Moosa Ali (MA).

Here is the transcript of a brief interview with the actor, who played the role with great finesse:

Me:Saar…oru BD a nadikarthuku enna thagudhi venum?
MA: Thambi,.Rombakastapattu dhaan munuku vandirkom. Arjun padam Jaihindh la pinnadi nikkara oru theevaravaadhi extra, adhuku appaala, Vallarasu la Mukesh Rishi assistant..appadi padi padiya pala Captain padathula nadichu kadaseela indha kareterrru

Me: Saar, Ippa Unga kitta neraya padathula villain aaka demand eridicha?
MA: Dheevaravaadhi oru pecalist role…. Summa matha villa thanam madhiri illa… Inga kathavum seyyanum, sandayum podanum… Adhi RDX maadhiri summa overact mattum panna patthadhu

Me: Appo, BD characterku Captain venume.. Avar ippo arasiyalla erangitaare….
MA: Naangale appadi dhaan bayandhom… aana ippo avaroda Annan pilla Rajasimhan vandhutaar. Adhunaala konjam sandhosam

Me: Neenga rendu vaati shootingku oru manneram latea poneengalaame.. enna aachu
MA: Thambi, Deepavaliku thupaaki vaangi kudukallanu, en pilla theevaravadhi maceen gunna vechu vilayaada aaramichitaan. Adhu naala dhaan late aachu…

Me: Theatre la Vivek scenoda onga scenela dhaan jananga kai thati manamvittu sirichaanga nu kelvi…. Neenga en comedy pannakoodaadhu?
MA: Naan sonna maadhiri dheevaravadhi vesham oru thavam maadhiri…. Edho jananga sirikaranga .. adhuku naan comedy ellam seyya mudiyaadhu…Naan ennikume Baakisthan Dheevaravadidhan

Me: Adhukaaga indha interviewku kooda neenga andha pichakaara dheevaravaadhi costumela irukaardhu over…
MA: En thmanbi, indha kelviya Military la irukara hero karetarunga kitta keka maatengireenga…. Avanga Kasmeerlendhu gramam vandhum, Vayalla heroinea route udumbodhu kooda adhe uniformla dhaane irukaanga… idhu dhaan enga kalaacharam

Understandably, he was upset at the provocative questions, and I sensed trouble, and escaped from the scene by wishing him some good luck….. watch out for RAJASIMHAN

Of Resorts, Chartered Flights, and 53 Million stranded passengers

It is the hour of shame for democracy. It is a classic case of how the hopes of 53 million people can be hijacked by a handful of power mongers.

It is a phase in politics which these days catapult a peripheral party member to iconic status, for crisis handling abilities.

A phase when the otherwise Yatra prone politicians prefer chartered flights to resorts in undisclosed locations ensure that their “strong ideology” doesn’t get diluted at sighting a briefcase containing currency.

It is an utter scene of disgust. This is a case which demonstrates, how numbers both in The House and in the Bank, dictate the tenure of the Government, as a group headed by the Ex Prime Minister’s son just decides to pull out from ruling Congress – JD(S) alliance, allegedly because his astrologer told him that this is a now or never time for his bid to stake the position of the Chief Minister of Karnataka.

There is no new found ideological, or political divide causing the mess, and it is just greed, hunger for the chair, and money power that has shaped this picture of ignominy.

Not an iota of thought has gone into the repercussions, of such a move, in terms of impact on people, policies or economy.

This chaos, is going to be followed by one more unprincipled coalition that will rule for an uncertain period of time. And WE THE PEOPLE, watch this with utter helplessness.

Now the impact of this spree of comic acts on the Industry scene in Karnataka, is going to be colossal. As the state that houses the IT Capital of country and IT itself contributing about 8% of GDP, the flow of foreign funds into the bourses is going to suffer, thanks to this power hungry clan of politicians.

The way the state’s politics is stooping to new lows, it just goes to show how important it is to have a breed of educated and service centric set of politicians at the helm, and by just having revolutionaries and visionaries in corporates and science organizations, it is of absolutely no relevance, when it comes to stability in governance, which is the core of all things, good and bad, that impacts the State.

The Force

With a history to protect,
And creating one as well,
This is one proud abode,
For the Force to dwell.

The vibrancy is in the air,
Challenges smiling at you,
Preparing to take them on,
This is no time to bid adieu.

As the limits are tested,
The boundaries pushed,
The Force is the cynosure,
Spirit is no longer hushed

Excelling where it counts,
The world takes notice,
The Force has arrived,
It is no longer the novice.

From struggle to promise
Just Belittling the brunt
The Force Looks forward
All set to lead from the Front!

Kollywood Tollywood

Statutory Warning: This post might sound more passionate than I actually intended to present it, but this might be enlighteneing too :)... So just read on...

Gone are the days when 1-8, 8-1, next change routines were mistaken to be wizardry in choreography….
Gone are the days when the rainbow faded in inferiority complex after seeing the attire of the lead pair….
Gone are the days when the Kalyaana Kattaas ofTirupati (The place designated for free tonsuring) thought they needed more just to satisfy the local demand for wigs..

Yes. Telugu movie industry, or Tollywood as it is referred to, has turned the tables around in thumping fashion.

My journey with Tollywood has not been for more than two weeks now, but I have seen close to four movies now…. Even Chiranjeevi would not have done this...You might ask…. “Why the hell do you choose to take such a big risk in life”… As most things in life, this was also an accident….

But that is besides the point. These movies have taken me by surprise. They are slick, with pretty good production quality, a bit more contemporary, and, the best part was, I did not press the Forward button when the songs were playing. The second half of the movie is paced much better when compared to the first half, and this is something I miss so badly in Bolly wood movies.
Again this might be not be true universally, as every movie industry has its own shareof B and C movies, the genre of Junior NTRs, Mithun Chakravarty and Pandiarajans are omnipresent.



Not that I am the greatest critic on earth, and maybe the only reason why I prefer Telugu movies, could be bcos for a change, I prefer another regional language movie to an English flick, but like everything else written in this blog, these are solely my views!

And just at a macro level, 3 of the Pongal releases in Tamil were remakes of Gult movies.. Vijay’s biggest hit was a Gult remake, and also leading ladies of Kollywod, have drifted their attention to Tollywood, like they use to eye Bollywood earlier…

If you are not able to understand the sudden change in this movie buff…………………………Is there some Telugu girl who is reading this, deeply impressed? ;)

The Midas touch

Yeah… It makes a huge difference….I hate self praise… but what can I do if facts point in just the direction that I interpret them….

The all powerful brothers of India Inc parted ways in a few months after I left the company…. The binding force was missing… The current organization I am working for has given guidance that they are going to make the second billion in 24 months, while they took 23 years to hit the first billion….

Now… the third of the series.. it is not as significant as the above.. but just goes on to add a little more credibility to my statements.. THE MIDAS TOUCH

Sri Lanka lose by 100 odd runs against Australia on Friday evening…..

The pace spearhead’s bowling figures read 10-0-67-0

Saturday afternoon.. Something happened…..

Tuesday Evening…. Sri Lanka maul South Africa by nearly 100 runs…. Because something happened last Saturday….. The pace spearhead’s bowling figures read
8-2-21-2

Now what happened last Saturday… just a few minutes of inspiring presence.. it does work wonders…..

What I want Laloo to do now!

Its been almost a week since Nitish Kumar and Co won the Bihar Elections and the first thing that he said was "Laloo should now focus on his job as Railway Minister and leave the governance of Bihar to me".

I am not sure what Nitish wants Laloo to do, but now that Laloo is not to do multitasking, here is my small list of three "Chinna Chinna Aasais"

1. He can have his share of late arrival trains quota.. in fact the trains that take you back to office after a two week break, can compulsively go late.... but ensure that the trains taking you back to your hometown for vacation are on time....

2. Promote sale of Black tea and Black Coffee on trains, so that the tea and coffee vendors don't go on an unnecessary guilt trip, everytime they mix 1:3, milk to water mixes!

3. Last but not the least... the reservation chart should have the marital status of passengers, so that people like me don't imagine a dream-duet sequence, after seeing a name like
Shalini Jain F 23 in the next seat on the chart
and then find a six month baby safe in her hands...

You can add your wish list, and wecan weigh the priorities, and forward the same to the Railway Ministry

Gali Cricket Rocks!

It was a very pleasant trip down the memory lane for me, last Saturday. Not that I met some once upon a time crush or anything like that. I played cricket in a local ground, in a suburb called Auburn. We were about 20 of us, and the best part was that 17 of the 20 were Gujjus!

So we had all thetypical Gujju names –Jignesh (Jiggu) Bhai, Dhaval, Sandesh, Nirav Bhai, Vikas, Vishal et al. One thing I really like about the Gujjus is the indelible sense of humour that they have and their cheerfulness just spreads infectiously. Their world renowned hard working ability is complimented really well by their ready smile face. The way they say "First class" when u ask this monotonous "Kaise Ho" question really lifts you up..

Give me a chance to talk about Gujjus and I can go on! So let me get back to what I set out to write on – The concept of street cricket….

1. You get to bowl only on two counts – You did not get a chance to bat, or you just pulled off a blinder of a catch

2. Both teams have their own set of Think Tanks, consisting of two or three totally conflicting minds, each one trying to boss over the other

3. The same person gets to be named a Dravid when he bats, and Srinath when he bowls… Even Sachin can’t imagine of getting this honour. The flip side is that I was affectionately referred to as Mushtaq Bhai, more for my looks, than for my pathetic leg spin bowling

4. There has to be a meeting of the think tank in the last over of the innings, irrespective of what the situation is…. Democracy has taught us something!

5. At the end of the game you can see a couple of faces who gave their heart and soul disappointed after the loss, as though their national team selection depended on this.

All in all, it was a Saturday afternoon that I really enjoyed, and I look forward to more such outings!

Harris Jayaraj's Tamil Bonanza

"Stand in the veyyil, and you will know the arumai of the nezhal"
Similarly, only when you hear words like ,"Rendaka Rendaka","Rahathula","Rangola" in songs that feature in Tamil titles, would you actually long for pure Tamil songs.

And in this post, instead of critising HJ for his notorious choice of words in his mass songs, let me list down the best of HJ's pure Tamil songs which are pure class.. Some have been chartbsters, and as for the others, you wouldn't complain for me recommending this for compulsive listening...

1. The ever green "Vaseegara" from Minnale (Bombay Jayeshree)
2. The oomph factor -"Ondra Eranda" from Kaaka Kaaka (Bombay Jayeshree)
3. Aval Ulaga azhagiye from Lesa Lesa (Karthik)
4. "Oru Ooril Azhage" from Kaaka Kaaka (Karthik)
5. "Oru Malai" from Ghajini (Karthik)
6. " Sutrum Vizhi Chudare" from Ghajini (Bombay Jayeshree and Sriram)
7. "Uyire En Uyire" from Totti Jaya(Karthik)
8. "Yaaridamum" from Totti Jaya(Harini and Ramesh Vinayagam)
9. Kummiyadi from Chellamey (Sandhya)
10. Poove Vay pesumbodhu from 12 B (Mahalakshmi Iyer and Harish Raghavendra)

Have I missed any other "Tamil" song that he has composed, that is worth listening to, feel free to add them to this list.....

Cooking on the edge!

There are two alarms that keep me awake, physically and mentally.

The wake up alarm on my mobile has been my best and only loyal friend here.
Unfailing and persistent, it reminds me thrice every hour for three hours in the morning, that the new day has already started.
Yes, I am going to make it big as I am going to enlist my snooze frequency in the Guiness Book. I always cherished the Kutti Thookam bit of my morning sleep, but I am going on an overdrive these days.
Always optimistic at the end of the day that I am going to get up at 6 the next morning, and finally jumping (chumma exaggeration,, actually ambling) out of bed at 8. God only knows when I am going get out of this habit!

And the other alarm, the Smoke detector near the kitchen! It is yet to take cognizance of the fact that I am new to cooking but atleast put in my earnest best to learn the tricks of the trade.

First time, while I was “kaachifying” appalam, it went berserk, as the appalam was theenjifying merrily. Thanks to my roomie’spresence of mind, he did the first aid job, of closing the kitchen door, starting the exhaust and opening the “Kolla Kadhavu”.

But apart from that good deed, he also created total tensen, as he informed me that the detector is directly linked to the fire station and they could land up any moment. The sight of paying up A$ 850 out of my Initial Settlement advance was looming large on me!

After a tense lunch, we were confident that we escaped. Last week too, the otherwise dormant Kutti Chaathan woke up, and this time, it was really scary. Arun the macho pulled the sofa under the detector, and stood on the sofa to find that he was atleast a couple of feet short of reaching the detector!

Fortunately, the old First aid techniques I learnt were followed to the T, and the alarm stopped in ten seconds! Bravo!

Thavamai Thavamirundhu

No – This is not the review on the film, but the theme of the movie that has inspired me to pen this one.

From the time He carried us
On His shoulders, till today,
He has been the Guiding Force,
While being His unassuming best

I Recall vividly the days,
When He took us “Triples”
On his TVS 50,to ensure
That we catch the school Bus

The Years when he was Working
A Thousand Kms Away from Home
So that we could enjoy our days
While He missed us all

The summer time when He
Meticulously planned our Trip
It looks like a far cry today
When Holiday is just a Dream Time

The angry yet relieved look,
When we used to return from
Late night movie shows
Was a sight worth watching out for!

His trip all the way to Bombay
To arrange accommodation for me
When I was already into my twenties
Just proves that His Care is unflinching

One thing Science can’t quantify
Is the gratitude that we have towards you
For teaming up with Amma,
And bringing us to where we are today!

Ghajini - An unintended laugh riot

My sincere thanks to my dear friend Vijay who sounded the loud warning that this movie might disappoint some who decide to watch it based on the adulation “built up” over the first two weeks since the movie’s release.

These are the remarks of the makkal who came out of the theatre on a Saturday afternoon from the satyam complex

Auto Singaaram – A theevara Vijay fan

Vijay padam mattume paakanumnu sabadham edutha naan moon varsham kizhichu vera eeero padam paarthen… aana surya summa sollakoodaadhu saar… enga thalaivar maadhiri thaniya thadumaara maadhiri oru dance stylelaam try panninaar… sooperunga

Subramaniam S – Chartered Accountant

My first task now is to go back and refer the Companies Act and look for the clause which permits a mentally unstable Managing Director to sign the Final Accounts of a Company. Hats off to the director who could find this before practitioners like us did!

Tamizhmani – Senior Inspector in Chennai

I now have 20 years experience but the sharp observation of the inspector in the movie

“Avaroda udambulla numbers ellam 10 digits – These have to be cellphone numbers” appadeenu sollum bodhu kalakitaar sir

Punch Pandian – An ardent punch dialogue priyan

I thought my thalaivar Surya would get into the punch dialogue scheme atleast from this movie, but I was shocked when there was one but was mouthed not by Surya but by Nayanthara

“oruthara konna suyanalam, rendu perayum konna adhu podunalam” pinnitaanga appu!

Sangeetha - Final Year Journalism student

I always had Barkha Dutt as my role model and hence took to journalism. Now, I have seen that a medicine student can be a champ in investigative journalism as well, especially when she is specifically told that she should not pursue the case, and this makes me feel that I have taken a wrong decision in my life…

Sanjay Jain – A Maarwadi Stationery shop owner in Chennai

Mere paas pehle bahoth saare corporate orders aathe the… abhi kuch dhinon se bijinej dull hai.. Abhi patha chalaa ki saare secretary log address note karne keliye bhi Laptop hi use karthe hein! Bijinej badhalna padega”

And Finally Arun Sriram – A never say die movie buff

I have always believed that walking out of a movie hall half through is unparliamentary behaviour. And as far this movie was concerned, Director Murugadoss’s idea of distributing Asin’s screen presence over the two halves was a commendable one, as that made me sit almost till the climax as I felt that there is something in it for me in the movie!

And if you felt that there is no mention of the two, sorry one, sorry two in one, ok whatever, villains, less said the better. My only thought however was that this movie was patbreaking in the sense that Bollywood villains enter Kollywood only through Captain’s movies ( Sharath Saxena, Mukesh Rishi to name a few, but Pradeep Rawat has chosen a Surya movie (If he has acted in any other Tamil movie, forgive me for this wrong observation)

Overall, if you want to watch a movie that is engaging and hilariously entertaining when you are munching popcorn.. Ghajini is not a bad option

Madras – The Brand

Madras – The very thought instantaneously reminds me of the Besant Nagar beach, Mount Road, Spencer Plaza, Mylapore Streets and Temples, IIT, Silk sarees and Saravana Bhavan.

OK. Let me get more honest. I am also reminded of water scarcity, perennial 90% humidity, the notoriously famous auto kaaran and power cuts in summer.

Now, we the Madrasis, not the “Madrasis” as addressed by North Indians who are still under the impression that anything south of Pune is Madhraas” , but the ones who are genuinely from the metropolis or been here, have to decide, as to which way we project Madras to the world.

As a city that is still having traces of the South Indian Flavour, despite not being averse to get a glimpse of the ‘Hep and happening’ things in life, it is very important to convey what uniquely defines Chennai, and sets it apart from the rest of the globe.

Being the vibrant city that it is, if only we could also have a tagline which can convey the what Chennai is, it would be great!

We don’t need to make Chennai a ‘cool’ tourist destination and that is not the only way to get people’s attention to the city.

From what I have seen, business travelers to Chennai are more keen on the earliest return ticket date, than having an excitement of going to a new place. This has to change and for that, we need to transform ourselves as brand ambassadors rather than join the Madras bashing Band wagon.

It would be small but significant step, if people visiting Chennai on business, don’t mind spending the weekend also, doing shopping or even enjoy the Getti Chutneys and Kotthu Parotas more leisurely.

Every city has its set of plus and minuses, and the minuses that Chennai has is in abundance in other Indian cities as well. However, they are just taken as a passing comment rather than leaving an imprint on their perception of that city. So, as we work towards minimizing the minuses that are in our control, I think there is no harm in bragging about the wonderful city that Chennai is.

Are these still part of the school curriculum?

“Why didn’t u do the homework”
“Forgot Miss”
“Did you forget to have dinner yesterday”

****

“Why did u show the answer to him”
“He asked me to ....Miss”
“Will u jump into the well if he asks you to?”

****


“How is it that Vijay is able to get 90 in English every time when you cannot touch even 80’s”
“That Miss is very partial”

****

“Ennada centumaa”
“Therla da.. Hope to pass”

****

Just after returning from a two day leave having attended a cousin’s wedding, the leave letter reads like

“Respected Madam,

My son could not attend school as he was suffering from high fever ……….

Yours sincerely (This is the punch)”
……..”

Workers Union for IT/ ITES Industry

Workers Unions– IT/ITES – Disjoint Sets?? Think Again

What could just have been an overambitious dream of the Left to penetrate into the Fast Growing Software BPO Sector (Read Middle Class Vote bank) seems to be taking shape suddenly and man, it is in no small measure.

When I read the article on rediff that the nexus is growing thick and fast even outside the Communist Parties bastion of Kerala and West Bengal, is really making me think, whether this is warranted at all?

What is a Workers union really going to do for the employees of the Industry that is becoming the icon of India all over the world. Here is an industry which is currently having a healthy relationship with the ruling Governments without any prejudices.

Just because the Software Industry now contributes 4.5% of the GDP doesn’t mean that it needs a political face. All of us are dead sure that the industry could not have progressed in such a healthy environment if companies and employees took political sides, and in the process entangled in lobbies, corruption and preferences.

What is a Workers Union going to do in a scenario where human resources are anyway the core of the industry, and the companies are already vying against each other with innovative initiatives to retain the best.

The industry is working under a near perfect demand supply scenario when it comes to human resources. Just because there are one million people employed, doesn’t mean that they need political intervention to take care of them.

It needs further scrutiny before investing in facilities in states like West Bengal and Kerala, where the infrastructure sops may be outweighed by the Left’s intention to use them as gateways of conquering the country’s most promising industry.

As the country starts to respect entrepreneurship as a way of life, these ideas need to be clipped in the bud.

Anyways, as we believe in democracy as much as we all believe in ourselves, let me take your views on this as well 

Need a break???

These are the five things that come to my mind as to what the indices should be to measure whether you really deserve a break…. You can add yours!


1. You promptly pick up the landline receiver when you get a call on your mobile
2. You Ctrl C on your desktop and do the Ctrl V on your laptop to transfer data
3. You think it is Tuesday on a Monday morning, just because you worked the previous day.
4. You find 25 unread mails in your personal mail box (This has not happened to me atleast!)
5. You type in a web url in the SAP transaction code field (This is an accountant’s first indicator)!

Why Politics is a bad word?

I can’t get over this ad on NDTV where Laloo cribs in one of the footages “Saala … Is mein bahoth Politicsh hei”

Now, when someone like an “acclaimed” politician like Laloo is weary about Politics, it surely must be a bad word.

Any act of conspiracy or impropriety is promptly termed as politics. If it is in India Cricket “There is so much politics in the Cricket System”. If it is an undue promotion, then it is ‘office politics’.

I fail to understand why we use the word whenever we sense foul play. It is a real perception problem, if people are not able differentiate between politics and politicians. Again it would be wrong to term a goonda as a politician just because some of them are.

I developed this sudden curiosity of visiting the parliament website to see whether the temple of Democracy is a tech savvy institution as well. Suprisingly, it was. It was updated with the Business till date, separate sections allotted for the PMO, President’s office, and inviting the people to ask questions in certain sections.

Each MP’s CV was also made available. What I did find was that most of them have been leaders born out of some revolution, awakening, or people born to such leaders, apart from the customary Film personalities, who are the Item numbers in the otherwise boring demography in the Parliament.

So where I am coming from is that, these people had the right intentions en route their ascendancy to the chair, but somewhere after that, they started experiencing the comforts of being in power, and slowly the rose seems more evident than the thorn. So these guys do these cheeky things to stay in power at any ‘cost’.

I liked Spiderman for the concept “ With great power comes great responsibility”. Wish our leaders get this message through.

Another problem is the question of how long should one get hooked on to an ideology. Again Let us take for example my Timepass No.1 Politician Sh Lalooji.
He certainly came up the hard way fighting for the rights of the impoverished in the state of Bihar. He was really a widely accepted leader because he brought self respect to the less privileged.

Let us hypothetically think that Laloo is still an upright politician and that scams and scandals are not necessary for him to win his daily bread. Would it still make sense for him to just talk about self respect when times have changed and people are more worried about progress than mirage like self respect and deceiving dignity.

My take is that politicians should evolve with the times, and the competition should be, who would serve the nations interests best, rather than who will serve which section of the society. If he thinks that the ideology with which he came to politics is served, or has no further hopes of achieving it, he should call it quits, and get back to his normal 9-5 life.

The politicos are more on the lookout for USPs (read outdated ideologies) rather than building competencies to tackle the broader level issues better.

My opinion is that we should do whatever little possible to encourage the current generation and the generations to come to take to politics as a career option rather than watching the ‘fun” from the sidelines. That is when the word will be used better than be abused.

Business was a middleclass taboo till some time back before one man from a modest beginning took the world by storm, and encouraged entrepreneurship as a way of life . Let us look forward to a decade where politics also disappears from the taboo list of the Indian Household, not just the middleclass.

I know that I am getting repetitive on this topic, but this is my little step forward in what I think is the right direction towards my ascendancy to the CHAIR.

Shifting Gears – Fourth and Final Episode

If you are visiting the blog for the first time I strongly recommend you to come back to this page after reading through the first three episodes.

Afterall, it doesn’t make sense to watch the climax first, even if the entry fee is waived 

July 2004

The White House was to get a new Man In charge in another two months, and the atmosphere across the country that was going two steps backward for every step that was taking forward was one of total resentment for Mr.George W Bush.

Mr Bush was more keen on giving the country men a physically secure world to live in rather than an economically or socially secure fraternity.

This was the perfect opportunity for the Democrats to cash in on the untapped yet important promise of economic security, and all opinion polls predicted a thumping victory for Mr Kerry for his strict “No No to outsourcing” stand.

The repercussions was felt across the BPO sector in India, and the customers were beginning to reduce the offshoring gradually to avoid a sudden ramp down, as this would not be practically feasible.

Though the ripple was felt across the BPO space, as usual, the small fries were the first ones targeted.

E-volve, had to skillfully go about the retrenchment, and so they gave impossible choices to its staff rather than hand them the pink slip straight away. The firm created a rumour that they were going to bring in a three year bond for its employees, and this automatically reduced the staff strength by 25%!

(However, like all good authors, I would not like to make the protagonists meet an
abrupt end, so this is the way the plot unfolds.)

Kushaal and Shruthi, having performed exceptionally in their first one year, were not being retrenched immediately, but the choice put forth to them was still a tough one to cope up with, in the current scenario.

Shobha Mehta,the shrewd TL who knew that the ground situation was not very positive, but, at the same time, since these two could not be released to the market for someone else to encash later, offered both a job for the same place but in the successive shifts.

This basically meant that the newly weds just had no common time to spend except in weekends.

This made the duo rethink the decisions that they took in the last one year and possibly their parents advice had real merit.

Kushaal, really learnt for the first time, what responsibility meant, as now, in the advent of any adversity, he would have to do all that he could to ensure bread for not only him, but also for a soul that is totally his.

He revisited the higher studies option, and with Shruthi giving her consent, Kushaal, resumed his preps for his MBA.

Halfway through the preparation for the exams, the White House got a surprising verdict. The Republicans retained power and in a month the Job Market bloomed yet again and the couple was caught in a fix again.

Shruthi, to whom the Power of Attorney was given, was more thoughtful, as she has gone through the bread or book phase in her life more than once, finally gave her thumbs up to her hubby to continue with his pursuit as the long term vision loomed large, and they didn’t want to get caught in the same mess once their family expands.

Kushaal, with more resolve than ever before cracked the GMAT with 760, and got himself placed in a “Top 20” Business School in US.

And the heroine continued her work and by the time Kushaal returned graduated to the Team lead profile.

So the hero and heroine went on to lie happily ever after irrespective of whether they were in the same place or not. After all, certain bonds last the distance between the sun and the earth twice over.

Shifting Gears - Episode III

To know what happened in episode II, please visit http://vaaman.blogspot.com/2005/08/shifting-gears-episode-ii.html

Kushaal was more in Cloud Nine within a minute. He felt as if he finally found some purpose in life, and was waiting for the tea break so desperately. Readers can relate this particular sequence to the dream duet in the Alps with any song of their choice.

Finally at 11, as the first introductory session got over, and the freshers got a 15 minute break.

His long time pals were waiting for a long time for the hero. He was busy rehearsing his intro with the angel.

Gathering composure, (which at the moment was not to drop the tea cup out of excitement), as the Moment of truth was just there,he went upto the angel, and introduced himself “Kushaal Madgaonkar, Fresher from JC College”.
And then came the all important response “ Shruthi, Shruthi Gokhale, B.Com Grad from Podar College”.

Then, Kushaal, just to gain familiarity, checked about couple of his school friends., who were also studying in Podar, and the conversation seemed to have stabilized.

“Accha shruthi, How did you commute to office today?”
“Belapur Local ”
“Surprising. How long did it to take to reach here”
“Half an hour”
“You must be lying”
“Why”
“You sure must be”
“But why?”
“Are you saying that Heaven is closer than Bandra from here. I can’t believe it!”

This brought about a rather instantaneous blush from Shruthi. Kushaal thought to himself “Well begun is half done”.

Back to Induction, and now, both of them wanted to know more about each other, after the surprise morning meet. Kushaal’s trick did work.

In the evening, in true filmi style Kushaal’s friends decently moved to a different compartment.

Kushaal learnt that Shruthi was from a modest background, and for her a job in a BPO was not a platform to finance her studies later, but as a means to be a supplementary bread winner for her family.

As she got down from the train, at Kurla, Kushaal was so happy, that he wanted to share his experience with his friends. They first acted as if they were least interested, but later had to later give in to his courage .

Once the induction and training got over, they got themselves dedicated workstations, and luckily for the duo, they both were with the same client, and Shruthi also got day shift, though she had her weekly off on Friday and Saturday.

Feb 2004

Now that Kushaal was firm on getting married at the earliest, to who other than Shruthi, and Shruthi was equally willing, it was just a matter of convincing his parents, that going in for an early marriage is not that bad an option, now that he has learnt to manage himself independently, and that higher studies may be pushed to the back burner.

After a rather turbulent month of deliberations, in both families, they finally agreed to get their children married, and in June 2004, Shruthi changed her name to Shruthi Madgaonkar.

As they came back from their honeymoon, 15 days after their marriage, they were not ready for the situation that was waiting for them at office.

The final episode will be published soon!

11 Cricketers Vs 552 Parliamentarians

For a change, this is not a debate which fights for an equal share of limelight for other sports on par with cricket. This is an attempt to do a reality check on whether cricket itself deserves the mind space that it currently occupies.

There are three things that excite the Aam Aadhmi in India – Cricket, Politics and Cinema. In this discussion, we will eliminate the third, because by the looks of it, all cine stars converge into politics at some time in their lives. After all, neither fields have a retirement age.

The irony is, almost the entire nation follows cricket to an extent that statisticians seek voluntary retirement from stress, where the 11 individuals on the ground, do not even represent India in the truest sense. They are still representatives of a Board that Controls Cricket.

At the same time, the 552 people, that we send to the Parliament casting our votes, who are the true representatives of the nation, are let loose, and their activities are neither followed, nor their inaction questioned. Still they occupy a reasonable mind share as these people are meant to provide unintended entertainment value to the junta with their behaviour, or absence in Lok Sabha.

I am not taking Rajya Sabha into this picture at all, as in my opinion, it has no relevance, except to elect the President of the Nation.

We the Public, have got our priorities blissfully misplaced. We seem to be so much involved in a game whose outcome doesn’t affect our lives in any way. Any form of sport should only either be watched as a form of entertainment or pursued as a profession for winning one’s bread. 99% of us are exact half bakes here, as we consider watching cricket matches as our duty towards the nation.

And on the other hand, we find news channels a bit allergic to view, and we pass the typical comment, like no one can save the nation, and politics is just a drama. Not long ago, were cricket matches also dramas enacted to perfection fooling millions and there is no proof that the dramaticians have disappeared from the game.

To be fair, this is one area where the media is not responsible for the disorientation of the average Indian mindset. To make their business a cash cow, they hype everything right from festivals, sports, politics and business in a non partisan manner.

We the people have never spent a minute extra to analyse how political decisions affect our lives, except at the time of filing our IT returns. And we spend 20 minutes deliberating on each decision taken by the Indian captain on field. How does it really matter, no one wishes to think.

Suspending ESPN and Star Sports connections seem to be affecting people’s peace more than the admission rows in which, each state is taking turns to see how best they can screw up the education systems.

Split in Political parties and corporate kingdoms seem to be viewed as a main source of entertainment, and not as an event that could affect lives of so many people.

Yes, there is the Manchester United, there is the Lakers, and F1 that have aroused the same kind of craze in various parts of the world, but I am sure that these sporting affiliations are not taken to heart outside the game, which is not the case with us.

And spare a thought for the cricketers. Dumped and elevated at will, being judged on one day’s performance, and the larger than life image that they have built. The fact is that, the flak that they get is very reasonable, since they are also adored beyond limits when they strike form, and they also strike gold. But the better option to be dispassionate about the game itself.

What really plagues is the absence of any aptitude for politics in today’s world. Since I also belong to this generation, I am really not aware what made more people take to politics willingly earlier. If we are going to allow only sons of MPs who die in plane crashes or assassinated, to rule the nation in future, we may not have the kind of leaders who have clear ideologies and the undying spirit for public life.

One more line, and I think I will be mobbed by the cricket fanatics, and hence I leave the closing comment open for you to have your say, and let others also know what you feel about this, by posting your comments.

Captain, CM Tamil Nadu – Strictly for Kollywood Rasikaas

Here is a sneak preview into what is in store for all of us if and when Captain Puratchi Kalaignar Vijayakanth reigns over the Cine Struck Tamil Nadu

Mckinsey is asked to present its ideas on how to make Tamil Nadu a paradise on earth, to the Council of Ministers. The Mckinsey team comprises of six smart MBAs who graduated from premier Indian Institutes.

Captain being a stout Kollywood Vaadhi, has in his cabinet all the legendary characters of Tamil Cinema.

Before the presentation starts, the team introduces itself, duly suffixing their MBA stamp to their names.

Not waiting to finish with the intros, Balu Thevar of Vedam Pudhidhu starts the cross questioning “ Oru orutharum perukapparam MBA MBAnu udaama solreengale, adhu enna onga appa pera, illa vaangina pattama?”

A subdued yet firm answer comes “Adhu Naanga vanginna pattam dhaan Thevare”

Balu Thevar shuts his mouth and owes not to speak again.

Slide 1: “The first slide of the ppt , we would take you through The statistics with respect to the current population, political boundaries, GDP”

After the first slide, Captain looks at Ramana, and waits for his approval. Ramana replies
“All stats are fine. But PPT - ennaku MBA la pidikaadha ore vaartha.Adhu use panna vendam”

Slide 2: “The second slide of the presentation takes you through how the developed countries give thrust to education and how investing in children will ensure a better future”

This really impressed the Youth Affairs Minister Gentleman Kiccha , but he had a very specific query “ Does this education bit cover the PT classes in school that train students in intellectually stimulating sports activities like Jalabalajings and Cuplings?”

The presenter replied that those details are not covered in the initial phase, as this needs to be customized according to each district’s needs.

Slide 3: “This is the pick of the slides as this covers the most innovative aspect of financing the needs of the state. This covers how we have failed to collect taxes from the rich optimally, and how these people always escape the net, by bribing the officials. The proposal is to create a mirage tax law, which will ensure that the rich keep bribing huge money to the Department, and the Dept will convert into white money for funding developmental activities for the state”

The revenue Minister Mr Velu Nayaakar is taken aback by this bold proposal, but all he says is “ Naal peruku nalladhu senja, Lanjam vaangardhula thapu illa”


Slide 4: “This slide covers how the state needs to provide incentives to control population with family planning and also increase the number of holidays to ensure a healthy population, and only a comprehensive approach can help overall development.”

Hearing this, the Health Minister Pithamagan heaves a sigh of relief, and happily scratches his beard.

Not understanding what this meant, the CM was asked to clarify the meaning of that reaction.

“Sudugaatula Vaarathuku rendu naal Haalidey kedaikkum. Adhula dhaadi s(h silent)ave pannalamnu solraaru.”

Known for their sycophancy, the politicians pretended to go into peels of laughter at this PJ.

Slide 5:”The bane of any developing economy is the problem of unemployment. The attention of the presenter turns towards the Industrial Devlp Minister Kaippula.

Thinking that they are taking a dig at him, he meekly responds “Venaam’. Not paying heed to his ple, they continue with their accusation of disguised unemployment as a bigger problem, when he the minister begs “Venaam. Valikkudu”. The presenter takes them through specific cases in Kollywood so that the audience can relate to in a better manner, as to ow there is always a comedian who is jobless, accompanying a hero who is in pursuit of nothing more than a girlfriend, to which Kaipulla almost fall at their feet and pleads “Aludhuruven”, and only after this the MBA grads, realize why the Minister was reacting so weirdly.

After a rather unique experience, the Mckinsey team came to the important question, as to whether they like the “solutions” offered by them, to which Captain answered that, as he strongly believed in the youth shaping the nation, he would request to Alaipayudhey Karthik to give his verdict.

The tense Karthik, who was not sure what to say, took the non committal stance “ Ideas pudhusunnu solla maaten, Ippo sathiku Idhu vendaamnu thonudhu, aana idhu ellam engaayanu apparam venumonnu bayamma irukku”

The perplexed team, thanked the ministers, and left without an extra word, and were expecting a better framed formal reply in the coming weeks. Pity them!

Exit Interviews and Counter Offers

I promised a couple of weeks back, when I wrote on interviews that I would come back with the sequel to that, which is on exit interviews and counter offers.

I must admit that I have been through this cycle only once so far, and I only wish I be spared of the latter forever. The reason for this, you will discover towards the second half of this post.

The idea behind exit interviews, is to figure out what were the niggles that the employee who is quitting faced, during his term with the company, so that the company can figure out, whether there is anything within its reach to improve the overall employee satisfaction quotient.

There are two ways of doing this, the formal way of asking them to fill a form, and then ask them, how they are sure that their next employment is indeed a greener pasture, and not a mirage, in a very constructive manner. But the one, in which I was interviewed when I quit one ofmy revious employers was a very novel approach – aggressive, intimidating, provocative, and most importantly very very effective.

Here our Chief HR Coordinator was trying to prove a point that my next employment was going to be nothing but a mundane assignment which can be done by college dropouts.

Now, this is something hurts your ego straight up, and then you start defending your decision, and then, just when you are finding your feet, you start cribbing about the current job, and say it is much worse than what she makes out of my next employment opportunity.

Now, when I am through with this question, HR gets an idea of what I felt was lacking in that company.

Then, to see if I am really firm on my decision, then comes a googly, which talks about exploring other opportunities than the one I am supposed to do. This one, checks if I have taken a decision in my senses, or just out of insane frustration.

My heartfelt sympathies are always with HR, as they normally have no clue when the recruitment happens, as HR is informed about the candidate after the entire Line has cleared it. So HR interviews are more or less a formality. And when the employee quits, the Line would that the HR gets to face the wrath of the departing employee, and the Line will keep quiet.

But having said that, I would be conveying only half truth, as the Line indulges itself in what is called the Counter Offer tactics.

This is basically done to drop the bait that the increment cycle is just round the corner, and also to promise that you will be compensated pie to pie with the new offer. If you are too good, the promise is that your pay scale with an unbelievable short period, so on and so forth.

My strong opinion is that, doling out counter offer is an unethical and also a lazy approach, to keep the attrition at bay.
Unethical, as the practitioners feel that money is all that matters in career management. Maybe to an extent, but not the be all and end all.
Lazy, because, you have a futile appraisal procedure, and you expect the employment market to value your resources and keep equating the best offers as time goes by.

Just like corruption, where both the parties bribing and bribed are at equal fault, same applies to counter offers.

More the number of employees, who expect salary hikes, by producing offer of employment from the next employer to the current employer, it would turn out to be more demoralizing for the peer employee community, and make them feel that they are losing by not practicing job hopping mock drills.

I welcome your comments on this, as I think that each one of us has our opinion on best practices with respect to parting techniques .

Is Big B not debt-free as yet??

My sincere thanks to all ad makers for not forcing the Brand Big B to endorse Thunderbird in a sixty second jingle, where, our man zips across the Mumbai Pune expressway at an alarming 100 kmph and finally utters passionately “Thunder bird - Albatross on Wheels”, or some such stupid tag line.

My sincere thanks to the entire director guild in Bollywood, for not giving him a so-called “author backed role” as a revolutionary 60 year old college student.

Barring these, the Bacchhan brand is omni present. The 65 year old man is just unstoppable. He is the busiest actor/ brand ambassador in India.

In these times, where retiring at 40 seems to be the in thing, here is a man who is well past the retiring age, and putting everything to ensure that he is right at the top.

This has been a whirlwind four years for him. KBC, announced the rising of the Phoenix. Even if KBC was not the success story it turned out to be, I don’t think Amitabh would have complained. Because, the entire idea behind his accepting the assignment was to repay his humongous dues, for his destined to flop, ABCL venture.

But, due to the sheer charisma of the man, the show was an instant hit. This turned out to be his launch pad to return to Bollywood in style. The first few movies, aroused curiosity value in junta, and soon someone in Bollywood, wrote this law that “Bacchan humein bachaayega”. In some movies, Bacchhan was the protagonist, in some antagonist, in some the main dish, in some the side dish, in some the dessert.

The problem with people like Amitabh and Sachin Tendulkar is that they have built such a goody goody image that they are unable to push back offers, as they might be afraid of a backlash, and media cribbing that they have suddenly become inaccessible and have been blinded by fame.

I am not sure about what the “Janta ki rai” is, but I certainly feel, that the Big B needs a sabbatical. I am sure that he would have by now amassed, enough to float a few more ABCL, and still manage to have enough for his next generations.

And like any family run business, where the patriarch would feel relieved, when his son comes of age in handling business matters, Amitabh would be relieved to find that Abhishek has now got things going his way, after struggling for about three years.

So give the old man a break, and allow him to rejuvenate to make one more comeback in a couple of years. In the meanwhile, let’s check if the Abhishek brand really works wonders in the absence of the Sarkar.

Shifting Gears – Episode II

To know what happened in the inaugural episode please visit http://vaaman.blogspot.com/2005/08/vaaman-story-teller.html

“Papa.. Mein kisi acche company mein job doondloonga.”

“Bete, you think that is the right thing to do. Are you not planning to go for higher studies.”

Here goes the cover up…. “ Yes papa. That certainly is in my long term plans. I will definitely pursue that after two years. I thought I will get some work ex as well as accumulate some money, so that I don’t remain a strain to your wallet any longer.”

This pleased the proud father no end. He felt that ,suddenly Herculean responsibility had disembarked on his son’s shoulders. This time he could not check his feelings and hugged his son and said “I am proud of you Kushaal Beta”.

This caught Kushaal unaware, as he thought that the idea would not buy value with his father. But now, he has to act true to his commitment, and start searching for a job right away.

Before leaving the dining table, the suddenly turned obedient Kushaal asked his father “papa, if you don’t mind, can I enjoy one more week, and then jump into job search?”
Of course, Sunil approved immediately.

August 1,2003

Though not great in acads, he was a touch too good in terms of networking social circles. He had woven cobwebs of friends groups, and he thought atleast a few of them go his way, and to his surprise he found many takers, and soon they realized that there can be only one way that there can be only one sector which would ensure that most of them stay together in a single company, and that is the BPO.

So Mission BPO started in right earnest, and within two months of rigorous job search and plethora of aptitude tests, Nikhil, Krishna, Gowri and Kushaal got a decent deal in
E-volve , a mid level accounting data processing company, in Belapur.

Fortunately for them, they all of them got a Monday to Friday day shift which, these guys at that time did not realize that this was a luxury in the BPO fraternity.

August 8,2003

The not so fantastic four were asked to report from 16th August, and were also informed that there would be a six week training period in familiarizing languages, and refreshing of accounting concepts, and of course on use of computers in accounting. If these were main courses, the desserts were on Dress Codes, organizational hierarchy, long term mission and all the gyaan best identified with New economy Industries.

With Kushaal’s spirits hitting a new high, he conveys the good news to his parents. His mother, who has more knowledge about the K series on TV, than the emerging BPO sector, had only this to say “ Beta.. Meine suna ki ye BPO SheePO mein raat bar kaam arna padtha hei”.

Kushaal explains “ Mamma, Raath bhar nahin, yedhi din mein raath mein, aur mujhe tho day shift tho mila hai. So tension nahin lene kaa”

Sunil, who was listening to the conversation, subconsciously, was wondering if Kushaal had taken the right decision. After detailed deliberations with himself, finally, he decided to allow his son to charter his own destiny, and the previous month’s commitment was still ringing in his mind.

As usual, he didn’t speak a word extra, and just congratulated his son, for his successful independent efforts.


August 16, 2005

Kushaal was feeling like a school kid, getting in to the next grade after the summer holidays. Only difference was not he was not wearing the uniform. But the fresh inquisitive eyes, and the burning desire to accomplish something was very much there.

As he joined his friends at the training room, after the one hour long train journey, and the initial nervousness was very much visible on all their faces.

But the entire exercise was rewarding, for Kushaal, as the first session just about started.
Right behind the induction instructor, walks in an angel.
Enters the heroine!! Crush at first sight!!

To be contd…

Singaara Sydney

It was a dream weekend. A family that took total care of me, thousands of miles away from home. The perfect platform to do what you felt like during those thirty odd hours. It was one of the best weekend trips I have ever had. Sometimes, these mini breaks refresh you more than one week of sitting on bench at work place :))



With Lakshman and Sudheer around, there was not a single dull moment during my stay in Sydney. The ferry ride from Circular Qway to Manly Beach, the long time no see David Dhawan movie, indoor cricket, Valiant attempt to get into the Club to get a sneak peep into the Ashes, the last minute escape from the Ticket Checkers at Sydney Central… it was one helluva weekend. Add to this my Kannada knowledge, amusing Lucky’s parents and his Paati, as well.

What’s more, the credit should come to me for setting the ball rolling on the topic of Lakshman’s marriage plans. With a total cautious approach from his mother, as she thought, that he was seriously heading somewhere, right under her nose, and the wonderful person that she is, she only requested for her to be kept informed about his plans. An indication that “Son.. We don’t think we can really fetch you a girl.. unless you take the initiative ;-)”

So here goes the detailed account……

I had booked the 8 o clock bus from the city to Sydney. It was just like getting into Rajahamsa on a Friday evening from Bangalore to Chennai. The only difference was that the bus started dot at 8 o clock.
The bus did stop at a few places, including Canberra before touching down the suburb of Liverpool at 7:15 in the morning. Lakshman, was there, waiting patiently, and we were in his house by the 15th minute.

A lively chat with Lucky’s father covering the political ideologies of various groups, life style in Australia,conversions, and mockery of Hinduism in movies was the ideal combo with the suda suda coffee.

A ‘light’ breakfast comprising Pongal(nothing else can compete with Pongal when it comes to Maargazhi maasam type mornings), Adai, sambhar, Chutney and Paayasam, ensure that we could get the day touring started without worrying about the tummies.

Lucky, Sudheer and I started on right earnest , and took a slow double decker train to the city. And there, we just missed the ferry service by 2 minutes, and that gave us the time to have a look around the Opera House, and a good look at the Sydney Bridge. It was surprising to note that one third of Australia’s economic transactions was happening in a couple of buildings located there, and these were not stock exchanges.


The ferry took us to a wharf pretty near the Manly Beach and we did have a good time taking a lazy walk across the beach. What really is admirable is the locals’ unending quest for fitness, and jogging seems to be the preferred mode of transport here.






Back from the beach, we walked quite a distance to Cargo Bar on the opposite side of the National Maritime Museum. There is no other way that we could have built our appetite after that breakfast.

We had gourmet pizzas there, and came back home. We went wound up the day with “Maine Pyaar kyoon Kiya” at Greater Union Multiplex. A nonstop nonsense, that kept us laughing for two and a half hours. Fortunately you expect nothing else from David Dhawan, and this was a real de-stresser kind of a movie. Did I miss out on the Paav Bhaji at “Thousand Spices”. Well, it was the best Pav bhaji I have had in the last couple of years.




Sunday was rather quiet with a slow 9 o clock start. Then, watched some competitive Indoor Cricket stuff, had brilliant bisi bele bath, and then also tried my hand at outdoor cricket, but there was just about half an hours time left.

The best was yet to come. Leaving from home as scheduled, at 7:15 to catch the 8 o clock bus, and reaching the complex at 7:45, one wouldn’t have expected any problems. But, we thought that going via the subway across the station, would save us some two minutes, and what’s more the entry was a through fare. But what we found to our dismay were, that all the exits were manned by Ticket checkers. We just had one ticket, and we moved from exit to exit, to check if we had any luck. What we have all heard is “If God closes one door, he would open nine other”. In this case, He was atleast kind enough to open one door, while closing nine.

We just managed to scrape through with the same ticket. And the return journey started again back on time. Just in case, you get an impression that this is the end of the story……………………………………….. yes.. you are right. Back on Monday morning for work. I am sure no one would like to read or even think about it!

Vaaman-The story-teller

The following figments of my imagination are an inspiration drawn from the Maniratnam genre of movies, where a globally or a nationally appealing theme is portrayed through the lives of commoners.

Opening today is the first episode of a mini series of one such issue, and one such family:

Shifting gears – Episode1

22nd Jul 2003, Mumbai

This was just another day in the lives of Mumbaikars, but in the residence of Madgaonkars in bandra, the mood in the air was really pensive. For Kushaal Madgaonkar, the only son of Vaibhavi and Sunil Madgaonkar, who has had a dubious record in the FY and SY exams in his B.Com, the moment of reckoning was just round the corner. The TY marks would be on the net any moment.

Vaibhavi completed her syllabus of Siddhi Vinayak and Mahalakshmi Mandirs, and as for Sunil, he has been practicing the art of being absent in social circles, for if, something goes wrong with his Sone Putthar’s results, people may not find his absence conspicuous for a couple of weeks…”Are yaar Sunil Dada gaya kidhar” kind of embarrassment is something he wanted to avoid.

Kushaal, on his part was fully geared up literally, wearing a helmet, just in case things go awry to an extent that his mother starts o throw vessels at him. Commerce grads take conservatism taught in accounts to their heart, that they are very pessimistic about their exam results as well.

The mobile phone rings. The otherwise jack in the box Kushaal who expects Pinky, Ritu or Shalini to be calling him everytime the phone rings, is rather spectical this time around. Reason, te last two years history shows that it has been Jignesh, who usually tops the class calls him to inform him that the eventuality has struck.

This time was no different. Jignesh calls up and in his totally made up modesty informs that the results are out, and he has managed to get just 84%. “Kyaa bathaoon Kushaal… is baar marks thoda comedy ho gaya yaar..84 hi mila”.

Kushaal with a frown spanning across his face, dials up the net, and with utmost reluctance, keys in his admit card number, and waits till, what he thought was eternity, and there it is.

Admit Card Number : A 19278
Candidate Name : Kushaal Madgaonkar
Overall Status : Pass
Grade : I class
Total : 350/500

Our man is more than elated. He goes into a dizzy and recollects himself in a couple of minutes.

“mamma .. Mein kyaa bataoon… Kyaa bathaoon…. I class mein pass ho gaya… 70% mila hai”

Mom was just too pleased….”there mouh mein ghee shakkar”…….”bhagwan ki dhayaa hai”. this puts off Kushaal a bit, for his momhas handed over total credit to the almighty”. Kushaal soon realized that this was not far from truth, and kept quite.

Sunil just returns from his morning walk. Obviously, he now goes for his morning walk in Joggers Park and not in Asif khan Park, just to avoid the his decade long fellow walkers.

“Papa.. mein pass ho gaya…I class mein.. 70%”. Sunil did not remember a day in the last three years that gave him so much joy that he almost shouted “Arre Pass Ho gaya…pappu pass ho gaya”. But like all fathers, he kept his emotions under check, and all he said was” Congrats Bete .. Abhi aage kyaa karna chaahoge?

This question was just too premature for Kushaal, as the ecstasy was yet to subside, and this was one question, he was not prepared for. He just did not think beyond his TY exam results. But he had to act quickly and pose as though he was ready for the question…..

To be contd………

Good old Summer holidays

This time, we take a peep into the world of a seventh standard student whose summer holidays has just begun, and how his mind keep comforting him whenever he takes a guilt trip on how his study plans are perennially pushed to the back burner, during the entire two month break.

This is split into six stages, as described below. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed penning this one. I am sure that this would stir the nostalgic thoughts in each of you. Happy reading…

Statutory warning: This is in Hinglish.... :))

When the hero returns back home on the last date of the Annual exam

Achha Hua ye exams katham hua
Abh katham hua saara ghum
Accha hua ye holidays chaalu hua
Is baar puraa masti maarenge hum

On the day of the result (within 15 days of exams)

Is baar result ki parva nahin karenge
Is se agle saal se kuch mathlab nahin
Books aane dho.. aise khoob padenge
Dikaayenge ki Hum kisi se kam nahin

On the day of receiving books (one week from day of results)

English kithaab ka first chapter padliya
Maths book rakhenge sabse neeche
Binding ke liye text books de dhiya
Fategi nahin Jab rakhte hein sabke peeche!!

One month into the summer holidays

Paapa enthu maarke holidays book kiye
Hum enjoy naheen karenge tho dhikega kaise?
Jo bhi kar rahe hein woh kis ke liye?
Waste nahin hona chaaiye unke paise

Back from tour

Dho din ke liye rest lenge hum
Aakhir Dho din mein kyaa hoga
Ek haftha hua Fisal gaya Dhum
Padaai ko diya total dhoka!

On the eve of school reopening

Is baar hum teek se pad naheen paaye
Is baar nahin chalega ye pachpan -chappan
Pehle dhin se padnaa chaalu………
………Aise hi katthi hei har ek ki bachpan

Interview Clichés

Folks, After the not so successful attempt at doing some serious writing… I value the feedback of the blog community…and hence would try to refrain from such indulgences in the future… what I thought was that I should write on what I know more about…Job hopping, interview experiences, both as an interviewed, which was my hobby a couple of years ago, and as an interviewer. I haven’t had too many chances though as an interviewer, just about half a dozen ,and after reading this, the chances of being on the interview panel could diminish further as here is a question paper that is being leaked.. open secrets actually..
This blog is dedicated to all those who are active job hoppers. Even rookies can read this and customize these thoughts to their needs…There is some food for thought for interviewers too!

Here is a set of interview clichés that one can’t avoid, and what are the first thoughts that cross our mind, followed by what answers we finally land up with. Happy reading!

1. Tell me something about yourself
Just imagine how it would feel to be asked the same first question day in and day out when your job search is at its peak. We might be irked so much to say that “my name is Arun… I am a school drop out, then joined private studies, wasn’t interested, and then joined as a mechanic in the corner shed, and job hopping is my hobby”. My humble request to interviewers is start the question with a more interesting question which might involve lateral thinking of various levels depending on the job for which the candidate is hired. This can be a real wake up alarm. For all you know, he might have mugged up the “Tell me about yourself”answer!!
2. Why do you think we should hire you
This is a question which actually targets at your strengths, which would differentiate you from the rest for the job. We should be clear about this, and not put generic gyaan like “I am hardworking, I can work well under pressure..blah blah blah…”.. Mind you these are taken for granted, and your CV will reflect these traits of yours with your acads, awards won, etc….. Please be specific how you would fit the profile that the employer is looking for, and adjust your answer accordingly. There is no straight answer for this. For example, if the profile involves analytical skills, talk about your how you can predict what the management expects rather than your late staying abilities, as management level decisions are hardly taken overnight.
3. What do you think you should join this company and not others
“Because you pay me 50 grand more than the down the lane software company” Though this could be the tip of the tongue response, all set to be missiled, we are expected to be lot more diplomatic, and are supposed to talk on how this would be a learning experience for you, what you have read in the papers that interested you to apply. Etc. etc. Just try to recall if any interviewer, has posed this question after your gyaan “ Then, would you be able to take a 50 K cut to take this job?” No one would have for the simple reason that every interviewer is also an interviewed, and they would not like this to be posed at them!
4. Where do you think you would be in five years
I have always found this really funny. This is one question that I have restrained myself from asking candidates. The reason - Five years is too far a timeframe to plan for. I am not being shortsighted, or utterly careless. All of us have some broad vision of where we would like to be, which are in terms of economic status, and in social circles. It is impossible to say that I would be the AVP, VP, Manager, or whatever, in the company which is offering you the job, as things are so dynamic, that even the company cannot have its plan chartered beyond three years max, in the clear terms that it expects the candidate to have. We obviously cannot say that “ I would be in a powerful position, in the fourth company from now”. You need to tread carefully here, and say that you would expect to be in a position to make your opinions count, and would be an active part of the organisation’s growth. This is a non committal feel good answer. When I tried to give the gyaan of “ I don’t want to think in terms of ‘ I don’t want be VP, etc.etc”, snap came the reply…”Arun.. I think you are being impatient”.. and I had to cover up by saying that “there is nothing wrong in restlessness driven by positive energy “ and crap like that. Very poor cover up, I must admit. It is very risky to talk about designations unless we are dead sure about the promotion life cycle, which is pretty tough to keep track of, company to company, in the midst of our job search hurry.
5. The job that we would be offering you would involve a lot of monotonous things. Are you okay with it.
This basically means that there are enough people in the queue and that they wouldn’t really mind if you are not interested. This is basically an attitude related question. Be rest assured that there is nothing known as a monotonous job. You can always make it interesting by goofing simple mundane things as well, and pose yourself as a crisis champion and resolve things. Sometimes perceptions can be handled in such a way that, when you do your duty, still the other person thinks that you a re doing a favour to sort things out for the internal clients.
6. How much do you expect in terms of salary.
“As much as my savings account can hold”. How many times we would have thought about this, but somehow, this is the question that causes a thousand butterflies in our stomach. Though we have a floor and a ceiling amounts in our minds, we think hajaar times before saying it, for the simple fact, that there is this trickle of hope that keeps telling you “Don’t commit.. what if they offer more than what you expect”. My experience is .. if you think that the HR is robust enough to ensure that there would be no unjustifiable reason for differential pay, leave it to the company, and you always have the option to turn down the offer later. If you think, the prospective employer runs like a kiraana.. go for the kill.. quote your ceiling amount, and then start the negotiations.
Mostly, this question is asked if the prospective employer is interested in recruiting you.
7. Why are you leaving the current organization.
“Those guys treat humans as stock in trade and just don’t care about attrition and resource movement. They have not had a compensation review for years, and appraisals are episodes from a fairy tale”. Though these are genuine concerns, it is important to mellow down a bit, and not use this question as an emotional vent. These thoughts are to be expressed in the exit interview and not in the recruitment interview. We have to stick to the ways the current employer is affecting your career path, and how you think the prospective employer would address those concerns.

Next to come:

Exit Interviews and counter offers - My humble thoughts